My dearest, darlingest, most wretched twin sister.
My hopes for you, is that one day, you find a wonderful man. And I hope that most brilliant man thinks, blindly, that entire solar system sparkles and glimmers out of your anus. And I hope he offers to be your spouse. After a month or so of engagement, it is my wish that he finds your fatal flaw- as you have most likely taken to long in the shower whilst crunched for time, and left him decidedly no hot or even luke warm water, and absolutely no sympathy for him.
He then will call off the engagement, find an ugly woman two days later, and marries her on the date set for your wedding. I hope he invites you. Because that would be a pleasant slap in the face.
With all my love and malice,
Your gorgeous, perfect, and ultimately extremely under appreciated twin sister
Jessie.
